Thursday, July 31, 2008

The Bat Story

I have no news to post so I might as well tell you what happened these past two days.

So I was wide awake here on my computer checking out stuff when I noticed a big object flying around in my room. I could only glance at it because it was flying rather fast. All I caught was that it had wings and a kind of big body, I simply thought it was a bird.
You might be asking yourselves one of two questions... or maybe both:
  1. When will he get on with the story?
  2. What did you do?
So I opened my door to the outside and tried to let it fly out, suddenly I noticed it had no beak and then it hit me like a sack of bricks. It was a bat. I tried to lure it outside and the thing would just fly in circles in my room. I sought out professional help and got my dad. We couldn't find it and we assumed it had flown out of the room. Well a few minutes back in my room it flew in again, this time I closed my door and sealed off my room. Got my dad again and when he got out of his room the bat had gotten into the living room. My dad opened the front door and tried to let the bat out the front door. The bat got onto and log and crawled into the ceiling and never came out. I figured I'd sleep in my brother's room because the bat may not have access to the room. Sure enough minutes after I got into my brother's room the bat flies in. I go into the bathroom and the bat starts flying around violently hitting the blinds, the lamp, the door. Eventually I slowly went into my brother's room again and it wasn't moving, now it was asleep on the ceiling. I went back into my room and crawled into bed and as I' drifting off the bat comes back into my room. Eventually I went to sleep.
Today I was going to sleep in the basement and I remembered I should take an allergy pill. So as I grabbed the box out of the medicine cabinet I heard flapping by the kitchen window. I move slowly towards it and there's the bat trapped under the window, it flies out from under the window and disappears somewhere. I get my dad again and he gets a fishing net and a broom. He looked and couldn't find it in the bathroom or in my room. I heard flapping in my brother's room, so I tell my dad it's in there. My dad walks in, turns on the light, and closes the door. Suddenly he start trash talking the bat and swinging at it with the broom. Suddenly I hear him say, "Connor! Get a garbage bag!" I quickly get a heavy duty trash bag and bring it to my dad who now has the bat trapped under a broom. He lifts the broom slowly and the bat attempts to crawl out, then my dad puts the broom back on him. After awhile my dad proceeds to punch the living crap out of the bat while it's under the broom. He lifts the broom and the bat isn't moving my dad and I thought it was either stunned or dead. I take control of the broom while my dad gets hold of the garbage bag. I suggest to him, "Maybe you should hit it some more to keep it stunned longer." My dad gets back down and proceeds to punch the living crap out of the bat again. He tells me to lift the broom and I do it slowly. There lying under the broom is the bat flattened and bloody. My dad gets him in the garbage bag and throws him out while my mom comes in and cleans up the blood (there wasn't two much, just a few drops). My dad and I just look at each other and laugh. After that everyone went to bed knowing that there wasn't a bat in the house.

1 comment:

John said...

Holy crap man! That sounds so freaking scary. I would've freaked out and ran in the closet or something. Kind of reminds me of the time with the cat when we were watching Donnie Darko. Anyway, sounds awesome how your dad beat the shit out of it. Can't wait till you're back here and out of the deathly-scary-bat-zone.