My Wireless Internet in Colorado

So my second house in Colorado does have wireless internet (thank god), however it sucks some serious balls. It's not the fact that it's "satellite" internet, though I find that a bit interesting, it's that the commercials claim that it goes at blazing fast speeds. When I see that commercial for Hughes Net my jaw drops and I yell, "BULL SHIT!" The internet here is about as fast as a drunken turtle. Comcast goes at Cheetah-like speeds and hotels go at Jack Rabbit-like speeds (And clear out your bookmarks and memory of homepage) and then Hughes Net goes, like I said, at Drunken Turtle-like speeds. By the time I am finished loading a five minute video I look down and realize that not only have I grown a Father Time sized beard, but my hair has turned gray, and I'm all wrinkly. My dad called Comcast to see if they could hook us up with a new connection and they said, "Sorry, we don't have construction in your area and we don't have any future plans to do construction." I find that rather odd because just the other day I saw a Comcast van driving through the neighborhood. Anyway, yeah, that's it. There was a dirty spoon.